Friday 17 June 2011

Mission: Impossible (Part 2)

MY EPIC ADVENTURE IN THE LAND OF CLUTTER

The trek to the summit of Mt Soul-Clutter



I learned two very valuable things today, and I’ll let you know them in just a sec...
but a more pressing issue is at hand. Now that I've learned these precious things, what the living heck am I going to do about it??
Certainly not the same thing that I’ve been doing each and every time I’ve felt these familiar feelings.
Experiencing something is one thing, learning from it is the next... but that's all in vain if I continue to ignore the whole point of these things / hardships / trials / tribulations that seem to keep coming up again and again and again,
the same experiences,
the same lessons,
the same feelings,
I don’t seem to be taking the next step of applying these things, not just learning from the mistakes, but making sure I don’t do them again and MOVING THE HECK ON! And that’s why they keep coming up again and again, isn’t it?! You can go through some pretty tough days, and learn some pretty valuable lessons from them, but then what? After all, you might learn something, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get it right in the test. You have to remember to apply what you’ve learned when the time is right. And that’s hard. But it’s not impossible.

It’s a challenge, we’re all on our own journey and we’re all being challenged every day in our own ways. And we’re all at different points in our journey, which is different from any one else’s journey…
so the points are different, and the whole journey is different… so there’s no bloody reason to compare yourself to anyone else either!! Is this making any sense?!?!??!?! I hope so, but I’ll press on anyway!

Here’s what I learned today:
1) It’s more than ok for me to cry, to feel overwhelmed, to feel despaired.
2) Its not ok for me to cry, to feel overwhelmed, to feel despaired, and then give up.

I used to hate crying, and feeling overwhelmed. I would really give myself a hard time about it. “What have I got to cry about? I have 3 healthy kids, a hubby who loves us all dearly, I have my health, friends, family… I’m by no means swimming at the bottom of the pool. So stop crying then, and don’t be so ungrateful.”  And I’m pretty certain I’m not the only person out there who gets like this sometimes. So, I get upset for whatever reason it was, I then tell myself that I shouldn’t get upset, call myself all sorts of names and say something like “C’mon, snap out of it. Write a list to get yourself focused again and you’ll be right.” The list gets written. The list sits there, and possibly gets a couple of things crossed off. But I should say, when I write lists, they’re usually worthy of the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest and most unfinishable and unrealistic list (I’m fully aware that unfinishable is terribly bad English…). So, realistically, crossing a few things off it is a pretty good achievement. But not for me. Nothing seemed to be good enough. Completely overwhelmed, despaired, and sad, I’d give up… chuck my list away and say…

“I”LL START IT AGAIN TOMORROW.”

Then, when tomorrow became today another list would be written, begun and given up on.

“I”LL START IT AGAIN TOMORROW.”

When tomorrow came, I didn’t even bother writing a list… but I still said:

“I”LL START IT AGAIN TOMORROW.”

I’ve been STARTING AGAIN TOMORROW for 5 and a half years. Motherhood seemed to hit me like a freight train and somewhere along the line (I’m thinking it’s back at the start) I lost my sunniness. My happiness. Thank GOD I found Sunny Mummy.
Stay tuned for a Sunny Mummy post soon… coming to a Bless My Soul outlet near YOU!
My problem was not only in abandoning my tasks and not learning from my experiences, but it was also in thinking that it’s not ok to feel the way I did. So, in response to the two things I learned, I would like to tell you this:
However you feel is OK. If you have someone in your life who tells you that your feelings are not warranted, unacceptable, and WRONG, then you give them a good solid size # (insert your shoe size here – for me it’s a good SIZE 9!!!) up the clacker, they can shape up or ship out. Surround yourself with people who bring you joy, love, sunniness and happiness. Feeling good and feeling bad is normal, and a part of every person’s life. We should celebrate the good, and support others in their time of need. Thanks to some very special people in my life, and I’m certain they know who they are, I now know that whatever I achieve in the day (and some days it is simply surviving) is amazing and I should be intensely proud of myself.
The grass could possibly be greener on the other side but, for me, I don’t want grass. I’d rip it up and put veggies in!

I sat down tonight and wrote another list, after using my Sunny Mummy Assistant, and this is what it looked like:



I think I may have just conquered the summit, TAKE THAT MT SOUL-CLUTTER!
Emily xxx

Eat well, drink water, live life with Love, laugh a lot, smile at strangers, God Bless

No comments:

Post a Comment