Tuesday 24 May 2011

Solving a Mystery, Scooby Doo Style!

I’ve solved probably one of the biggest mysteries in the universe!

Well, in my universe anyway…

My bubble…

Well, it’s been a mystery to me for a long time now… probably the last 6 years or so… how long have I been married again…?!
It’s the mystery that makes this mother-of-three, domestic-goddess-extraordinaire struggle with the mundane day-to-day tasks and jobs that the pre-wed, pre-baby me accomplished quickly and efficiently with time left over, but ultimately wasted, to realise all my goals and dreams that I only figured out I had after I became the mother-of-three domestic-goddess-extraordinaire!!!
Can you see why I’m confused?!?!?
Can you see why my poor Hubby’s ears start burning even before I say “gee, I really have to talk tonight…”? I can just imagine saying that to him in super-slow-mo watching his eyes gawping at me, shaking his head and screaming NOOOOOOO and then his head blowing up as soon as I finish “… talk tonight…?”
What a mess.
So here I am, about to pillage your eyes with my text, and your ears too if you’re brave enough to read it aloud, because this post just might not be able to contain itself in silence. It’s just that remarkable. Honest. 
Now, back to that revelation… solving the mystery.
ZOIKS! Scoob, I think we’re out of Scooby Snacks!

I loved watching Scooby Doo, and to be honest, it still cracks me up. I love it that Scooby is a big chicken until he has a Scooby snack that Shaggy pulls out of somewhere just in time before the ghost, who is really Old Man Withers, the owner of the Old Haunted Amusement Park who would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids, catches them *draws breath* and that the Scooby Snack is like an illicit substance giving Scooby the impression that he can accomplish anything, and then he gets the giggles. It’s comedy gold.
I decided I needed my own Scooby Snacks. Less like the dog food type, and more like the metaphorical type that makes me feel like I can do and accomplish anything. It would also help if it were legal.
Caffeine isn’t enough.
Alcohol wont solve my pre-5pm issues (although if it’s a post-3pm weekday issue, I sometimes make a concession!), is costly, and makes me gassy.
I can’t afford the type of food I want to get addicted to.
Things like prayer, meditation, journaling and yoga are all great when you have your own quiet space. NEXT!
It needs to be something that I can have or do anytime, and anywhere. That when the crappy stupid rubbish blah blah sets in, I can smash it for six (cricket…. Anyone?!).
Then it hit me, like a wine glass hits the tiled floor while your kid is climbing onto your lap. Why is Scooby Doo so effing funny?! It’s that laugh. It’s Scooby’s laugh!
You can get a snout-full here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_psRb5AtpI
IT’S LAUGHING!!!!!!
When was the last time you get a stitch from laughing so hard? When did you last crack up at one of your kids farting instead of telling them it was inappropriate? When was the last time you watched a politically incorrect movie and cried with tears of hilarity? What about Weird Al’s version of Lola, entitled Yoda (cracks me up… Yo-yo-yo-yo-yooooodaaaaa!)?
This is my problem: I no longer do things without inhibition. What will others think? What impact will this have on others? What else do I have to get done today? I don’t have time. How embarrassing. I’m tired/exhausted/unhappy/unmotivated/sad/overwhelmed…  I can virtually pick one for each day of the week in order for me to NOT be spontaneous.
This is my solution: I picked up my trusty journal, and wrote ten things that crack me up:
1) Watching Monty Python movies. “He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!”, or “It’s just a flesh wound!”, or “I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok…”. Need I say more?!
2) Reading funny blogs. There are some very funny people out there, and they always bring a smile to my face! I love WoogsWorld, and Mad Cow. I cramp up every time I read these girls… with giggles of course, not the digestive kind…
3) My awesome interpretive dance routines. Yep, I make up great dances to my favourite songs, and the kids try and copy. These things are so revolutionary that they could burn your eyes out by just watching, some just aren’t ready for it.
4) Reading THE BOOK that my sister, Claire, and I wrote while growing up, that has all of our weird sayings and quotes and insults that we made up when we thought we were AWESOME!!!! Now, we know we are and it’s so funny to read our primitive humour compared to how much funnier we are now.
5) Tickling my husband (and boy oh boy will he hate me for putting this one in), because he’s as ticklish as a schoolgirl. His uncontrollable giggle is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard and it always ALWAYS makes me laugh just as hard!
6) Talking CRAP!! Random movie lines like “Bueller, Bueller, Bueller? Fry?”, “I like my coffee the way I like my men. Black.”, and “Who is he? He’s an asshole sir. I know that, what’s his name?! That is his name sir, asshole, Major Asshole.” . I know the whole opening radio sequence from Good Morning Vietnam, complete with voices. Disney movie songs and quotes. Smack talk with the hubby, talking like Fat Bastard, Harold and Toulouse from Moulin Rouge, the Postman Pat song… whatever breaks the boredom usually ends up in some sort of craptacluar laugh-fest.
7) Playing/dancing/cooking/being/trampolining with the kids, without any boundaries. (Sorry for the cliché) Of course, they still can’t start fighting, but when you’re playing with them on their terms some of the things they do and say are side-splitting, funniest-home-video $50,000 sort of stuff!
8) Watching the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice, you know the one with Colin Firth as Mr Darcy… the only REAL Darcy! A perfect screen adaptation to a perfect book, their antics always get me.


9) The genius writings of Mr Douglas Adams. Otherwise known as the man who created Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, you’ll be hard pressed to find a funnier book written with such creativity and talent. GOLD. I’ve read it way too many times to remember, and I still smile the whole time!
10) My newest laugh – attempting Zumba. Yep, those infomercials bringing the Zumba craze into your very own lounge room has made a home in mine too. And, if only for the calories I burn from laughing so hard, I have a great time doing it too. I look like I’ve got a squirrel in my pants (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Axe9BvkfyLU ) but it’s worth it!!

Now, that list took me quite a while to write. Had I really become that detached from the old me, the fun-loving easy-going old me? Had I really left that part of me behind on my journey? Why couldn’t I have left my anxiety, grumpiness, disorganisation or negativity behind instead?
Maybe I’ll just leave them behind now. All of them. Lighten the load, take the funnies and leave the boring stuff behind...
“Rood Ron, Raggy”. Thanks Scooby!

I’d love to challenge you to your own top ten crack-me-up list. How long does it take you to write? What makes you stitch up in laughter? Then…
go and do it!!

Peace.

Eat well, drink water, live life with Love, laugh a lot, smile at strangers, and God Bless
Emily xxx

Monday 23 May 2011

Music Monday!

For those who don’t know me too well yet, I absolutely LOVE music. So be warned, when i start talking about music, it gets hard to stop!!

Music is what feelings sound like – Author Unknown
I don't like ALL of it, but not for the reasons you might think either. Some tracks just don’t click with me, and some make me want to puke quite frankly… but I still have a respect for what they are trying to achieve and that other people will get their groove on to it. I just switch it off. Quickly.
I respect a person, or a group of people, who has an idea about something and can compose lyrically and/or instrumentally their truth as to what that certain something means personally. I don’t have to agree with what they’re going on about, and sometimes I interpret their art and personalise it in a completely different way than they intended it, but that’s cool. That’s what music is for.
Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom.  If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. – Charlie Parker
(Just to let you know, Charlie Parker was a FABULOUS jazz musician in the 40’s… do yourself a favour and listen to his stuff if you want a taste of real jazz!) Music is an art. Real musicians are holistic, they write, compose and perform (or at least take part in the whole process) their work, or sometimes take a piece of existing work and modify it to fit their own experience, thoughts and wisdom.
You can tell when a musician loves what he/she is doing just from watching their body language as they play and sing, closing their eyes and rocking to the beat, their hands running over their instrument like it is a part of them, the look of sheer joy on their faces and how that joy resonates to the listener (which is ME thankyou very much!!). When a song hits you just right, the feeling you get is utter joy, so cheers to the resident muso! The song, from the words to the beat to the rhythm, speaks to the soul in ways that most other things in this world can’t. Music is the universal language.
Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life. –  Ludwig van Beethoven
Cover bands are awesome because they take songs that they love and play them to people who love them as well, making for a choice night out, bro (pardon the Kiwi). How many times has a night out at the local progressed into some realm of awesomeness due to the house band’s weekly rendition of Livin’ on a Prayer, and Highway To Hell?!
Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without. – Confucius
Thankyou Confucius, you are absolutely right. We can’t do without music. Music is written for an infinite number of reasons, and each opera, orchestral piece, instrumental, choral verse and song that’s out there means something, to someone. And that’s awesome. So I thought I’d give you a bit of a taste of what I’m into and, as I’m a bit eclectic, I think some might surprise you…
Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. – Ronald Reagan (Amen Ron!) 
  • The Beatles. Now I’m not just saying it because it’s a generic response for most to say, because I really really REALLY love The Beatles, and what their music did to the world. I love the Sgt Peppers album, and The White Album… really anything post 1967. Any band who can write about an Octopus’s Garden, living in a Yellow Submarine or being a Walrus, and pull it off, must be pretty special J
  • John Butler Trio. Wow this group is just amazing. Lyrically inspiring and musically beautiful, listening to this is such pleasure and just makes you want to chill out and bop your head to the sweet tunes. Peace mate, love your style.
  • Eric Clapton. Love love love this guy. From his early days with the Yardbirds (a blues style), Cream, and Derek and the Dominos, to his solo stuff and the infamous MTV unplugged album, I just can’t get enough of it. Always helps me chill out after a tough day. Thanks Eric! His Crossroads blues album ROCKS!
  • Powderfinger. Can’t go much further without mentioning my favourite modern band… well, former band anyway… So much talent, such down to earth boys, such a joy to see them live, and a good looking drummer too J What more can I say guys?! Your music rocks my world! Thanks to Bern, Daz, JC, Haigs, and gorgeous Cogsy!!
  • The Waifs. I’m attempting to learn some of their songs at the moment, their folk style and acoustics are a joy to play and sing.
  • Led Zeppelin. In the immortal words of Wayne Campbell: “Led Zeppelin didn’t write songs that everyone liked. They left that to the BeeGees.” Led Zep isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but they certainly are mine. Travelling Roadside Blues and Black Dog (and of course Stairway To Heaven) always get me!
  • Pink Floyd. There’s nothing better than to sit down with a good Scotch, listening to Dark Side of the Moon “turned up to 11” and solving the world’s problems.
  • Santana. Not only is he a magnificent guitarist, he endeavours to unite people from all walks of life through his music to show us that we really are all equal in the eyes of God. Much Love, Carlos.
I could go on, but I’ll save it for the next instalment of Music Monday!!
What about you? What music are you into? What makes your Soul sing out to the Heavens?! What do you think of my list? Music makes each and every day better than it already is, and I’d LOVE to know what you’re in to… J
Eat well, drink water, live life with Love, laugh a lot, smile at strangers, and God Bless
Emily xxx
Ps – I know it’s technically Tuesday today… but I kind of got sidetracked … it is Marvin Monday after all ;)

Friday 20 May 2011

It's all Good!




For the good of the family I’d better finish off that packet of mini Easter Eggs. I would hate for them to eat too many and get a stomach ache.

For the good of my husband I’d better have a nice big taste of his hot milo just to make sure it tastes perfect, even though I’m on a diet and it would stuff everything up to try some.

For the good of the house I’d better clear away that unopened wine bottle that is cluttering up the bench because it just makes the place look untidy, but the wine rack is full and I don’t like wasting anything so there really is only one solution…

For the good of the environment I’d better just stay in my jarmies today because if I get dressed that just means more washing, more water, more powder, more electricity, and I’m not the kind of person to hurt Mother Nature any more than She already is. I Love Mother Nature!

For the good of the kids I’d better put them to bed early tonight, they need their sleep and they look awfully tired… I said TIRED!

For the good of the community I’d better buy those sweet home made treats from Grandma at the local market, even though I usually bypass her on my way to the fruit and veg stall, because they look like they took so much effort and I’d hate to disappoint her.

For the good of the country I’d better get that new pair of boots I saw the other day, because they were Australian made and I want to support local manufacturers.

For the good of the budget those boots were half price… I’m saving money!!

For the good of God... I'd better stop calling His name out when... you know... and just talk to Him later.

For the good of myself I’d better say that I’m doing a great job, even if I don’t think so, because a positive thought can manifest into something AMAZING!

For the good of yourself You’d do well to do that too, because you are doing a truly great job! Whatever you have chosen, whatever your path is right now, you're meant to be there, and know that you too are amazing and can accomplish anything!!!

Eat well, drink water, live life with Love, laugh a lot, smile at strangers, and God Bless
Emily xxx

Sunday 15 May 2011

Bless My Bread...



Bless my bread,
I should be in bed
But I sit here alone with my guitar instead.
Strum and Strum
With my thumb
“I’ve got the bread blues” I sing and hum.
Knead then prove
Then knock it smooth,
And prove again… THEN we can groove.
One hour, two,
Yes it’s true
Three hours of love is what I must do.
 An Obsession?
More a Confession…
A shop run was out of the question.
We had run out,
There was no doubt,
No lunches tomorrow: a World Title Bout.
I love it.
I can’t help it.
Fresh homemade bread, there’s nothing like it!

It’s Sunday night, it’s late and I really need to get to sleep.
I can tell I'm getting tired because I just rhymed "it" with "it"... twice. Crickey, that's some high quality poetry right there. Only the privileged get to read here at Bless My Soul. I really, really should get some sleep.
But I have to wait until the bread is baked.
Yes, that’s right. I, most of the time, bake the family’s bread. When we run out, it’s off to Baker’s Delight (and ONLY Baker’s Delight…).
WHY THE HECK DO YOU BOTHER?!?! CRAZY $#&%^#!!!
Not only does it taste like nothing you’ve ever had before, but you know EXACTLY what’s going into it. The more I read, the more I am becoming aware of what is in our food these days… and the more is scares the hell out of me (especially in regards to the kids). Our apples aren’t the same, our milk isn’t the same, and our bread isn’t the same. Making money is more important than looking after the people you sell your product to…
I love making my own bread, I love growing my own veggies (although we’re a bit limited being in a rental… I can’t wait until we buy again!!) and I love teaching my kids how to look after their bodies. It’s a lot of hard work, but seeing the results in your kids through behavioural, social and emotional changes is so motivating. I tell you now, if your children drive you crazy just take a good hard look at what they eat and drink. I have been writing down everything that my three have been consuming, as well as behaviour patterns throughout the day and I can honestly say that there IS a link, there IS a pattern to what goes in and what behaviour comes out. The poor things, I feed them rubbish and then punish them for it… well, not anymore!!!
Now, I’m happy to say that I get most of my info from a website called
and the lady who started it, Sue Dengate, has written a book about it called (amazingly) Fed Up. Do your family a favour and check this out, my book is on it’s way and I can’t wait to implement the entire system properly and, of course, report back with my proper and concise results!!!

Wish me luck!!!
Eat well, drink water, live life with Love, and God Bless
Emily xxx

Wednesday 11 May 2011

On a serious note... today's thoughts on Motherhood.

Motherhood.
We live it. Breathe it. Feel it. All day, and every day forever more.
It’s not a job. It’s not hobby, nor a blessing or a curse.
A job has an ending. A hobby has instructions. A blessing is good, and curses… well they’re not so good. Sometimes it feels like all these things. And sometimes like nothing you’ve ever felt before.
Motherhood is a noun and a verb. It’s also relative. It means different things to different people.

Think about it.

How you were raised, the choices you made as a child, the choices your parents made when you were a child, the choices you made when you became and adult and the lessons you chose to learn have all shaped the type of mother you are now and the way you choose to raise your children. You can also choose that none of those things apply to you and you’re going to do things your own way.
I only have to mention parenting advice… and we’ll all have pretty much the same response:
AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!
No bloody wonder all the “advice” that is offered today is so utterly confusing! It contradicts itself! We so often look for answers from others and continually get frustrated at what we find, when the answers we seek are inside, in our deepest desires. The most important thing in the entire world –that is, Motherhood - is made a mockery by an onslaught of books, products, items… THINGS that might as well tell us we’re unsatisfactory as mothers until we have the “perfect” children (they don't necessarily say that, but it's certainly the way the message comes across) – and that means purchasing a whole barrage of products and adopting a particular lifestyle, so we can be just like every one else who has great kids. Blankets to drape over you while feeding in public, matching outfits, anti-eye-puffing cream for that tired mum, recipe books to make all their mash, educational toys, pre-pre-pre schools, toddler computers, character brand items, designer bedrooms, baby Mozart CD’s, routines, home grown veggies, discipline books, star charts, rewards… if your baby or toddler is crying, not eating or eating too much, not sleeping or sleeping too much, not interested in toys, biting, dribbling, touching himself, hitting, tantrums, dressed oddly, delayed, or any other “problem” you think your child has… then IT MUST BE YOUR FAULT, RIGHT?!?!? And you’d better fix it soon, because everyone else is better than you….RIGHT?!?!? All of this will make you a better mum!! You do want to be a better mum, DON'T YOU??!! WHY don’t you have ALL of that, it’s clearly why you’re struggling… oh you do have it all, then why are your kids like THAT? Clearly there must be something else you can get them?!!
Now you listen to me, and you listen good: From this moment on – all of that is a BIG BUNCH OF CRAP.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. AS A PERSON, AS A MOTHER. AND YOU DON’T NEED ANY OF THAT, AND NEITHER DO YOUR CHILDREN!
Now you say it:
I AM PERFECT!!!
I said SAY IT!
Heck, yell and scream it if you want… SING IT!! I AM PERFECT!!!!
Anyone who says otherwise is missing out on a fabulous person. Sit back in your chair right now and smile, grin like a Cheshire Cat and bask in your own awesomeness.
“I am Mother, hear me roar!”


I've spent too long putting unrealistic expectations on myself and my kids. No more consumerism. Now it's back to basics, and it's awesome!
Do me a favour, will you?

Find your child, or one of your children. Take a hold of them and say: “Do you know how much I Love you? Really? I Love you so much that I want to gobble you up. You make me so very happy, and I want to smile all the time because I have you! I bet you Love me too, because I’m the bestest mum in the whole wide world for you!” Obviously you can say whatever comes to mind, and whatever inspires you. Now, I don’t have older kids, so you might have to adjust it a bit… they might think that “bestest” is a bit lame!
The point is, that all our children ever need, is our LOVE. They don’t really NEED anything from that list up there, or any other lists we have written. Your heart screams out LOVE and your mind says After The Dishes! Look into their eyes. Aren’t they just BEAUTIFUL?!?! Your very own perfect little ball of sunshine. Love, Love, Love. Sometimes, it’s tough Love, they do need to learn after all. But always Love. When all else fails, when the house is a bomb site, when your to-do list is more like a bloody Ikea catalogue, when there’s no more wine (!!), when that overwhelming feeling of everyone doing better than you is setting in, when you “need” so much for your family to function… JUST STOP. Sit with your child and BE Motherhood (v, to act with Love). The most important thing in this life is our relationships. The rest of it will happen, when you are content, and when you realise your perfection. Through Love for yourself, and your children, you will BECOME Motherhood (n, another word for Love). And that is PERFECT. YOU ARE PERFECT. Just as you are.
Oh, and one more thing… every other mother you know is also PERFECT, in case you didn’t already know. Their choices are perfect for them and their family right at this moment, and the only thing that will be offered to other mothers from now on is our own Love, and unending support… for She, and you alike, are PERFECT. Accepting and embracing differences in others is the key to our own happiness and PERFECTION.
The Beatles really were right...
 All You Need Is Love!! So Thankyou to John, Paul, George and Ringo :)

God Bless
Emily xxx
Ps - Those things that I mentioned up there, for the record, might be perfect for you. I have/adopt quite a few of those things, because they work for me. The point was to outline the countless things that we think we “need” in order to be successful parents, and the overwhelming feeling of failure for not achieving EVERYTHING.


Tuesday 10 May 2011

Welcome!! I'm so glad you're here!!

That’s it. I’ve done it. I’ve finally started a blog. In the immortal words of The Doors:
 
 The time to heistate is through.
Gee, I’ve been procrastinating on this for a long time now. Arguing with myself, pros and cons lists, one day I’ll feel like starting and the next I’ll think it’s a rubbish idea… and the breaking point was this: I found my motivation to change the way I live and the attitude I have thanks to another blog I started reading, Sunny Mummy. While I think our goals for blogging are a bit different, I think the purpose for most bloggers is the same. There is something to share, something to get off your chest, something to give to the universe and something that can respond back to you through blogging.

I want to share my journey through this life as an individual, a mother, a wife, a friend, to whoever wants to read it. If I discover something about anything, and share it, and but one person benefits from reading it, then my goal will be reached.

And, besides, this is great fun! I'll be putting all sorts of things up here, recommending books, films, music, websites, quoting movies, giving my opinion... purely and simply. You don't have to agree with me or like what you read, but i do ask that you just accept my views as mine, and yours as yours. After all, our differences are what makes us amazing! I hope you'll join me, this is going to be an awesome experience :)
For now though, i'm pretty sure my awesomeness is waiting for me at the bottom of my coffee cup... and so the adventure begins! Thanks for visiting, see you again soon :)

Emily xxx