On a serious note... today's thoughts on Motherhood.

Motherhood.

We live it. Breathe it. Feel it. All day, and every day forever more.

It’s not a job. It’s not hobby, nor a blessing or a curse.

A job has an ending. A hobby has instructions. A blessing is good, and curses… well they’re not so good. Sometimes it feels like all these things. And sometimes like nothing you’ve ever felt before.

Motherhood is a noun and a verb. It’s also relative. It means different things to different people.

Think about it.

How you were raised, the choices you made as a child, the choices your parents made when you were a child, the choices you made when you became and adult and the lessons you chose to learn have all shaped the type of mother you are now and the way you choose to raise your children. You can also choose that none of those things apply to you and you’re going to do things your own way.

I only have to mention parenting advice… and we’ll all have pretty much the same response:

AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

No bloody wonder all the “advice” that is offered today is so utterly confusing! It contradicts itself! We so often look for answers from others and continually get frustrated at what we find, when the answers we seek are inside, in our deepest desires. The most important thing in the entire world –that is, Motherhood - is made a mockery by an onslaught of books, products, items… THINGS that might as well tell us we’re unsatisfactory as mothers until we have the “perfect” children (they don't necessarily say that, but it's certainly the way the message comes across) – and that means purchasing a whole barrage of products and adopting a particular lifestyle, so we can be just like every one else who has great kids. Blankets to drape over you while feeding in public, matching outfits, anti-eye-puffing cream for that tired mum, recipe books to make all their mash, educational toys, pre-pre-pre schools, toddler computers, character brand items, designer bedrooms, baby Mozart CD’s, routines, home grown veggies, discipline books, star charts, rewards… if your baby or toddler is crying, not eating or eating too much, not sleeping or sleeping too much, not interested in toys, biting, dribbling, touching himself, hitting, tantrums, dressed oddly, delayed, or any other “problem” you think your child has… then IT MUST BE YOUR FAULT, RIGHT?!?!? And you’d better fix it soon, because everyone else is better than you….RIGHT?!?!? All of this will make you a better mum!! You do want to be a better mum, DON'T YOU??!! WHY don’t you have ALL of that, it’s clearly why you’re struggling… oh you do have it all, then why are your kids like THAT? Clearly there must be something else you can get them?!!

Now you listen to me, and you listen good: From this moment on – all of that is a BIG BUNCH OF CRAP.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. AS A PERSON, AS A MOTHER. AND YOU DON’T NEED ANY OF THAT, AND NEITHER DO YOUR CHILDREN!

Now you say it:

I AM PERFECT!!!

I said SAY IT!

Heck, yell and scream it if you want… SING IT!! I AM PERFECT!!!!

Anyone who says otherwise is missing out on a fabulous person. Sit back in your chair right now and smile, grin like a Cheshire Cat and bask in your own awesomeness.

“I am Mother, hear me roar!”

I've spent too long putting unrealistic expectations on myself and my kids. No more consumerism. Now it's back to basics, and it's awesome!

Do me a favour, will you?

Find your child, or one of your children. Take a hold of them and say: “Do you know how much I Love you? Really? I Love you so much that I want to gobble you up. You make me so very happy, and I want to smile all the time because I have you! I bet you Love me too, because I’m the bestest mum in the whole wide world for you!” Obviously you can say whatever comes to mind, and whatever inspires you. Now, I don’t have older kids, so you might have to adjust it a bit… they might think that “bestest” is a bit lame!

The point is, that all our children ever need, is our LOVE. They don’t really NEED anything from that list up there, or any other lists we have written. Your heart screams out LOVE and your mind says After The Dishes! Look into their eyes. Aren’t they just BEAUTIFUL?!?! Your very own perfect little ball of sunshine. Love, Love, Love. Sometimes, it’s tough Love, they do need to learn after all. But always Love. When all else fails, when the house is a bomb site, when your to-do list is more like a bloody Ikea catalogue, when there’s no more wine (!!), when that overwhelming feeling of everyone doing better than you is setting in, when you “need” so much for your family to function… JUST STOP. Sit with your child and BE Motherhood (v, to act with Love). The most important thing in this life is our relationships. The rest of it will happen, when you are content, and when you realise your perfection. Through Love for yourself, and your children, you will BECOME Motherhood (n, another word for Love). And that is PERFECT. YOU ARE PERFECT. Just as you are.

Oh, and one more thing… every other mother you know is also PERFECT, in case you didn’t already know. Their choices are perfect for them and their family right at this moment, and the only thing that will be offered to other mothers from now on is our own Love, and unending support… for She, and you alike, are PERFECT. Accepting and embracing differences in others is the key to our own happiness and PERFECTION.

The Beatles really were right...

 All You Need Is Love!! So Thankyou to John, Paul, George and Ringo :)

God Bless

Emily xxx

Ps - Those things that I mentioned up there, for the record, might be perfect for you. I have/adopt quite a few of those things, because they work for me. The point was to outline the countless things that we think we “need” in order to be successful parents, and the overwhelming feeling of failure for not achieving EVERYTHING.